Deadpool Plots That Will Never Make it to the Big Screen

Let’s be honest, the last few years of Marvel films have been cheesier than a Brie convention. That’s not to say they haven’t been good, most have been greatly entertaining, but there’s never been any real grit or bite to the recent big screen adaptations.

That is until now.

Releasing in a few days time is Deadpool, the R-rated Marvel movie that looks both hilarious and offensive with Deadpool’s humour- thankfully -not being censored in order to cater to the younger end of Marvel’s audience. However, as much as we’re all, or least most of the Western population, are looking forward to this movie, Deadpool will probably follow the standard path that every first, solo Marvel adventure takes: intro, back-story, bad guy does something bad, protagonist vows to stop them, protagonist faces adversity, protagonist rises up against the odds, protagonist wins. There will of course be variables, such as the ending and Deadpool’s methods of achieving vengeance, but the basic idea will most likely be the same as it always is with an introductory film and rightly so. Marvel needs to introduce Deadpool and his outlandish ways before diving into his depths, but what about future Deadpool films?

deadpool emma insert 2If the movie is a commercial success, which it most likely will be, sequels will be made. After all, this is Hollywood, and if an idea even remotely works in the industry, you milk it for all its worth. Deadpool has more than enough interesting stories that could be catapulted onto the big screen, but there’s a few that are probably a little too eccentric for even our Merc with a Mouth to present to a mainstream audience. Here’s just a few of the more interesting plots Marvel could use for future Deadpool movies, although it’s probably best not to hold your breath.

Evil Dead Presidents Try To Takeover America

A superhero/zombie Marvel film is one that we’ve never been treated to before, which is shame considering the interesting crossovers that have made it into the comics over the years. Deadpool has had a few of these stories in his time, with this particular one taking our beloved mercenary on an adventure to kill a bunch of resurrected dead presidents, including Washington and Jefferson, who are threatening to destroy the country. Hired by S.H.I.E.L.D, Deadpool manages to save the day, ripping off Washington’s head and kicking it into the crotch of the Lincoln memorial. This could be Marvel’s answer to Pride and Prejudice with Zombies, minus the boring period setting and with Deadpool instead of English aristocracy, which obviously makes everything ten times better.

Thanos vs. Deadpool

deadpool emma insert 3 Yep, that big purple guy from the end of Guardians of the Galaxy and Deadpool have their own feud in the Marvel universe, all because of a woman. Well, woman is probably a bit much, considering the woman in question is actually Marvel’s physical manifestation and personification of Death . An actual entity, rather than something that happens when you eat too many chimichangas, Lady Death has a skeletal body and is adored by the mercenary, although he’ll probably never get to be with her for good because he’s technically immortal. Unfortunately for Deadpool, Thanos also loves Death, or at least likes her as much as an evil villain can like another, her knobbly knees seemingly bringing all the boys to her yard. Their rivalry for her affection has seen Thanos curse Deadpool with life so that Deadpool can’t join her, with the cosmic villain also trying, but failing, to destroy Deadpool’s many personalities, attempting to leave him as an undesirable, empty shell. A heated match between the two could make for awesome viewing with the current mini-series perhaps providing some lengthier material.

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Loki Claiming To Be Deadpool’s Father

One of the more bizarre stories in the Deadpool world, in Deadpool Vol. 1 #37, Loki, the Norse god of mischief and frequent troublemaker for big brother Thor, tries to convince the mercenary that he is his father, using Lady Death as a hostage in order to persuade Deadpool into doing his bidding. What he wants is for Deadpool to make Thor mortal- which happens if he loses contact with his hammer, Mjlonir, for longer than 60 seconds- thereby giving the less-loved son of Odin a chance to kill his brother. Deadpool accepts the work, takes Thor’s hammer and tries to impersonate him so that he can join the Avengers, among other activities. In the end, Deadpool confronts Loki about the whole daddy thing, gets the truth out of him that he isn’t his father and helps Thor and Lady Death escape the trickster’s evil clutches. It’s not the biggest storyline, but it could make for an entertaining film, or at least a side-plot.

Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe

deadpool emma insert 4 It may be hard to believe that one man could go on such a rampage and succeed, (even though the Punisher has already done so in a similarly titled one-shot) but that’s exactly what Deadpool does in this story. Spidey, Cap, Mr. Wolverine, they all get killed by ‘Pool, and while I’ve never actually read this particular serial, it would be great to see a full-length feature where Deadpool wreaks unholy havoc on the Marvel world. Given the violent nature and ruthless devastation this plot contains, an adaptation of it is probably not something they’ll be rushing to make anytime soon. After all, if all the heroes and villains are gone in the Marvel world, who will star in their future films? There’s only so much Deadpool can do alone, even with cameos from Stan Lee.