There is no way to pussyfoot around it, Genital Jousting is a game about disembodied penises and balls that have a butthole attached right between them, all presented with ultra realistic physics. It took the internet by storm when it soft launched on Steam Early Access in November of 2016 as a strictly multiplayer affair, but now, a year and two months later, the complete package is being unleashed along with a surprisingly touching story mode that tackles toxic masculinity.
The all-new story mode isn’t a very lengthy affair, lasting about an hour and a half, but it left me feeling more than satisfied. In it, you play as John, an average working man that is actively seeking a date for his quickly approaching high school reunion. A fully voiced narrator does a great job commentating over the entirety of the story, and she helps convey John’s feelings, and motivations all while making a lot of penis puns and innuendos.
At first, things are light-hearted and comical. You’ve got to get John ready for work by showering, putting on clothes, and throwing away some leftovers before catching the bus. This is all done by swapping between controlling both ends of John and wriggling about. Touching things with John’s head causes them to stick to him, thus allowing them to be moved around to complete simple objectives presented on the screen as checkboxes, or following the narrator’s instructions.
None of the story mode’s gameplay is all that hard, much like John, but many will surely find the narrative difficult to swallow. It quickly becomes a tale of John’s toxic masculinity and everything that comes along with it, from how he treats and acts around other men, to how he objectifies women, and lashes out when he doesn’t get his way. Easily the most well-written cautionary tale on the subject I’ve ever seen in a video game, which will surely make Genital Jousting controversial for other reasons than the obvious.
I think it is important to say that Genital Jousting does a great job of tackling consent. You’re asking for consent when starting a multiplayer game, and in the story mode, you can’t forcefully insert yourself in others. That said, there is a moment in story mode that I interpreted as a character sexually assaulting another, which while shocking I felt fit the narrative quite well. The events after the assault, however, make me uncomfortable as its quickly swept under the rug as if it isn’t a big deal. I can’t go into much more detail without getting into spoiler territory, but just know I find some of the story to be problematic.
The main meat of the game, however, is the multiplayer modes that allow up to 8 players to play together locally or online. Modes include a Party Mode that randomly shuffles from a varied selection of Mario Party-like mini-games including volleyball, soccer, competitive car washing, wrestling, racing, and swallowing pills with your butt, and so forth. Traditional Mode has players attempting to wriggle their head into others anuses to score points, and Date Mode is specifically designed with two players working together to complete mini-games in mind. There are tons of unlockable costumes to earn by simply by playing multiplayer matches, so there is a sense of progression and customization for those that seek it.
Genital Jousting is a pleasurable and girthy package with loads of fun mini-games to play with your friends that includes a short, funny yet impactful story mode that dares to touch on subjects other games won’t that will surely arouse some controversy. No need to beat around the bush, this one is rock solid.