Jonathan Schey made his directorial feature debut with Everybody Wants to F*ck Me, a story that revolves around Taron Egerton’s Adam—the epitome of performative masculinity. This dark comedy centers on London’s modern dating scene and the mass waves of self-proclaimed “nice guys.” Adam’s life is not the worst until he meets Jessica Henwick’s Sofia. After calling out his behaviour as it is, the encounter shakes up Adam’s world—and women begin reacting strangely to him.
Going in as blind as I did was the right way to enjoy Everybody Wants to F*ck Me. I understood it would deal with modern dating trends and the commentary on it—thinking this had a schtick like One Night Only or even along the lines of The Drama. However, I did not expect this film to go down the mystery-thriller route. Honestly, by the time the credits rolled, it felt like this was a sci-fi journey too. The movie was a mixed bag that worked…for the most part.
For something mixed with comedy, mystery, and suspense, I found the comedy was lacking at times. In some moments, Adam meanders a bit, especially when he stops to take in certain strange elements. This could have been filled with more gag footage. For most of the film, the biggest laughs and gasps were from the shock value big set piece jokes. Maybe the beginning of the film had some good dialogue jokes, but that was a good chunk of it.
My main issue with Everybody Wants to F*ck Me was its unclear outcome. Knowing the name of this film, you will never guess how tragic this story could end up. Once the hidden truth of the film is revealed, the movie took a turn and lost its purpose to me. It was as if Schey pulled back on some story beats to further the plot along.
Everybody Wants to F*ck Me sounded a bit like a clickbait-y title, but it was a recurring theme throughout the film. The film used the phrase in the movie, but it is not a throwaway line. Instead, it became the phrase for Adam’s spiral into madness. This movie accomplished making me unsettled and uncomfortable at times—more so from secondhand embarrassment like in Obsession. However, the mystery behind Adam being unconscious one night made me think of some worst-case scenarios. On the other hand, the secret was held on for too long to justify the payoff.
Thank goodness the acting was impeccable by Egerton, Henwick, and Charly Clive. Egerton has the range to be a charming gentleman as he has in the Kingsman movies, but also the scariness like in his recent role in Netflix’s Apex. This movie was a slightly different avenue for the Welsh actor, portraying a pathetic protagonist that the audience kind of wants to see his downfall—in a hopefully satisfying way.
“Everybody Wants to F*ck Me sounded a bit like a clickbait-y title, but it was a recurring theme throughout the film.”
Clive was also amazing, playing Adam’s friend—acting mostly opposite Egerton. This was the first time seeing the actress-comedian, and she killed the humorous bits and the dramatic moments too. The biggest disappointment from the core cast was Henwick’s Sofia, who had a very fierce presence when she was on-screen. Unfortunately, she was missing for most of the film. I sort of understood what Schey was going for by holding some plot points close to the chest, but the cards felt like they were dealt a bit late into the film.
The overall commentary Everybody Wants to F*ck Me attempted to address how the modern dating sphere looked and worked to a certain extent. Even with some of the twists and turns of the story, I found this picture was missing its big shining moment(s). There was some shock value, but nothing that felt fresh. Going in blind is a major element, so try to avoid trailers and spoilers. For those feeling adventurous in examining the “nice guy”, performative male rhetoric on a date, or simply want a decent, wild comedy, Everybody Wants to F*ck Me could be a good TIFF 2026 pick for you. Just do not expect to learn quality dating advice where everybody wants to…you get the idea.
