Disney’s nostalgia craze is still running wild. The studio isn’t just going back and remaking their old animated movies, they’re re-adapting their own theme park rides. This is the studio’s second shot at adapting their famous Disneyland Haunted Mansion ride following the 2003 Eddie Murphy-helmed comedy. While it definitely is an improvement over that clunker, there isn’t much that it has going for it in its own right.
The story centers on Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield), a former astrophysicist turned jaded New Orleans tour guide who hasn’t been able to get past the death of his wife, herself a haunted-house guide. His grief at one point even led him to create a camera that can see ghosts, hoping to find her. One day, he is recruited by Catholic priest Father Kent (Owen Wilson) to help out single mother Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and her son Travis(Chase W. Dillon).
The pair just moved into the titular mansion and are unable to leave without being haunted by one of the ghosts who inhabit it. When Ben himself gets haunted and trapped with them, they assemble a rag-tag team of “experts” including Kent, spirit medium Harriet (Tiffany Haddish), and college historian Bruce (Danny Devito), to figure out the mansion’s secrets and free themselves from the 999 spirits that surround them.
Making a horror movie for kids will always be a tricky balancing act. On one hand, it has to be scary but not so scary it’s traumatizing the kids. There are moments in Haunted Mansion where I think director Justin Simien (Dear White People) does it well, especially in the first act. Unlike the first Haunted Mansion, which was almost entirely a silly comedy, a good chunk of the horror in this reboot is played pretty straight. The atmosphere is eerie, several ghosts’ designs are sufficiently creepy, and some jumps are pretty effective, especially for a Disney flick.
Sadly, that eeriness doesn’t last for long. Haunted Mansion’s script, penned by Kate Dippold, feels undercooked and overlong, especially for a movie running over 2 hours. The mansion’s mystery falls into pretty generic tropes. Certain setpieces run longer than they need to, and by the time the third act goes on, the movie turns into yet another CG light show, this time with a graveyard filter.
The most unfortunate part of Haunted Mansion is that it feels like a waste of an incredibly talented cast, despite their best efforts. Most of the gags are pretty hit-or-miss, but Wilson, Haddish and Devito are reliable to get some pretty decent laughs. Although Jamie Lee Curtis makes a short as a talking crystal ball, she chews enough scenery in that brief time that makes it at least fun to watch. Lakeith Stanfield gives a surprisingly layered performance that feels much better than the movie deserves, especially during an emotional scene halfway through the film.
On the other end, Rosario Dawson’s character feels the most underdeveloped, and she’s the co-lead. There isn’t much the movie gives her to do beyond protecting her son and delivering exposition, and she’s kept away from most of the more exciting events of the movie. And the less said about Jared Leto as the villainous Hatbox Ghost, the better. It’s about as generic a villain as can be in both character design and performance.
Haunted Mansion feels like a movie that’s tailor-made for Disney+, rather than as a 150-million dollar blockbuster. It could serve well as a mild entry point for someone wanting to get more into the horror genre, but for anyone wanting real good scares and laughs, you’re better off just going to the actual ride.
